


The Mysterious and Sexy Mission of Burt Macklin and Sabine du Ver

by thinlizzy2



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: F/M, Gen, Post- Ann and Chris, Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-09
Updated: 2014-07-09
Packaged: 2018-02-06 13:43:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1860174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinlizzy2/pseuds/thinlizzy2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An international spy and an FBI agent undertake a possibly fatal assignment.  Or Andy and April go for a drive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mysterious and Sexy Mission of Burt Macklin and Sabine du Ver

**Author's Note:**

  * For [implicated2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/implicated2/gifts).



Sabine du Ver, international spy and freedom fighter, drew a deep breath and took a moment to collect herself. This would be one of her most difficult missions yet, and to make matters worse it was one that she was personally conflicted about. Was she doing the right thing? She just didn't know. This sort of act… it went against a lifetime of personal principle. But something deep inside of herself was telling her that _not_ completing the mission would be a dire mistake.

 

For support, she turned to the man next to her. "Are you ready?"

 

"Oui", he replied. "Je… am ready."

 

"Andy!" April slapped at the dashboard in frustration. "Burt Macklin doesn't speak French!"

 

"Oh, I thought I'd try out someone new". He grinned at her. "I'm going to be Pierre La Eiffel-Tower for this one."

 

"Andy, no! Come on, _please_." She gave him a beseeching look. "I really need someone I know and trust for this caper."

 

"Fine." He looked sulky. "But I get to be Pierre on the trip home." 

 

She nodded and he broke out in a huge grin, instantly forgiving. "You're the best, babe. Okay, Macklin's itching to get started. Are you ready to go?"

 

Sabine grabbed the mysterious box from the back seat and pulled down her balaclava. There was no turning back now; they would deliver the package or die trying. "Let us begin."

 

Being two experienced and sexy agents, they dove from the car in a symphony of coordinated motion. Although it was a security risk, they had agreed in advance to leave the vehicle unlocked for the duration of their assignment; the need for a speedy getaway was a real possibility. They simply couldn't get caught here, the consequences would be worse than death. The home of their target was dark and silent, but they both knew from years of experience that appearances could be deceiving and so they proceeded with caution. They had learned from far too much close contact not to underestimate their nemesis.

 

Former nemesis?

 

They were halfway across the lawn before the first surprise began. Water, arching in a deadly spray from cunningly hidden spigots, sprinkled their faces and bodies with terrifying precision. Macklin turned around, clearly on the brink of being driven mad with fear. "They've engaged the aquatic defense systems! Should we retreat?"

 

Sabine thrust out her chin. "I never retreat! I am not some cheese-eating surrender-monkey like zey say on your American cartoon with ze yellow people. Besides, eet ees probably on an automated timer." She glanced upwards; the lights were still off in all the windows. "My finely honed spy instincts tell me zat ze evil one and her sexual slave are still asleep. We press on!"

 

They ran as quickly as possible across the damp grass. Although she would never give voice to doubts about her partner, Sabine secretly suspected Macklin of enjoying the whole thing. Andy loved to run through sprinklers. Before long, they had reached the forbidden fence which led to the dangerous, never before seen, backyard area.

 

Macklin scaled the fence with the grace of a gazelle but lost his balance at the top and went tumbling to the ground.

 

"Officer down!" He shouted, flailing around on the ground. "Officer down!"

 

"Andy, _shut up_ ", April hissed, casting a frantic glance at the house. She thought quickly. "Just… use your healing power from that government experiment they did on you."

 

"Babe, that wasn't Macklin. That was Wolverine. Hey, maybe I can be Wolverine!"

 

They seriously did _not_ have time for this. "They did them on Macklin too." April suggested. "He just doesn't remember, since they also erased his memories."

 

She waited while Andy considered it. "Cool." He clamoured to his feet and opened the fence for April. "Come on in, Mademoiselle du Ver."

 

"Merci, Officer Macklin. I wll reward you later for your bravery and chivalry." Sabine strode through the open door and surveyed the terrain. Her superbly honed spy training alerted her to an immediate threat. "Macklin! They 'ave a canine guard."

 

The target's attack beast came barrelling towards them, murder in its beady little eyes. Clearly, Sabine's enemy had trained this animal to kill, cultivating and exploiting its bloodlust for nefarious purposes. But such brainwashing tactics were no match for Sabine's instinctive connection with animals and within seconds she had the assailant subdued.

 

"Who's a good boy?" April cooed, rubbing the chihuahua puppy's belly as he wriggled around and licked at her hand. "You're a good boy. Yes you are!"

 

Macklin loomed over her. "Don't let yourself get distracted du Ver", he warned. "That's how they get you."

 

As much as she loathed to leave the little dog behind, Sabine knew Macklin was right. This was why she always worked with a partner. 

 

She let Macklin manage the dog while she picked up the box and continued on her quest. She was very nearly at the back step when her communicator went off, making her jump with nerves. She cursed and fumbled in her jacket for the cell, and her eyes widened when she saw the name of Macklin's alias, Andy Dwyer, on the screen. 

 

Was this all some kind of set up? Had she undertaken a mission with an evil doppelganger? She put her hand on her water pistol and whirled around.

 

Only to find Macklin rolling around on the ground with the chihuahua pup licking his face, utterly oblivious to the pocket dial.

 

Sabine knew she should lecture him on agent protocol. He had very nearly endangered the whole mission; he could have gotten himself killed! But the scene was really kind of adorable, so she decided to let it go.

 

Instead, she crept forward until she reached the back step. There, she deposited her package and slid the secret message underneath the top flap. Then she knelt on the grass and reflected. This was a mission that she never would have imagined undertaking, and one that would stay with her for a very long time. Would this change everything? And, if so, was that really what she wanted? It still wasn't too late to abandon the whole idea. They could just take the box, return to the car and drive away. No one would ever need to know that they had been there at all.

 

Her train of thought was interrupted by a sudden flood of light. There was someone in the kitchen! The target's voice - like nails on a chalkboard - rang out, shattering the silence of the night.

 

"Hello? Is someone out there?"

 

"Run!" April shrieked as she tore through the backyard and headed for the car. She threw herself into the front seat and revved the engine, peeling out of the driveway with a squeal of tires. Andy flung himself headfirst through the passenger-side window and they sped towards the highway with his legs wiggling out the window.

....................

The resident of the house rubbed the sleep from her eyes as she surveyed her backyard. Someone had been there, she was sure of that. Her suspicions were confirmed when she noticed the package.

 

She brought the box inside and unsealed it, lifting the top flaps. She laughed fondly as she opened the card and read the message written there.

 

_Dear Ann,_

_Here's some clothes and toys and junk for your hellspawn. Hope you get lucky and it looks like Chris instead of you. That is, if he really is the father. All this stuff is safe to use; I promise I didn't put itching powder in it or anything. But if you tell anyone I did this, I'll deny it and then take swift and brutal revenge._

_Love April_

**Author's Note:**

> Written for implicated2 for Not Prime Time 2014. Thank you for the great prompt! I also loved the parting moment between Ann and April, and was delighted to get to build on it. I hope you like the final result!


End file.
